March 31st: 21 days old

Well... I spoke too early yesterday when I said the posts should get shorter, way too early!

I like arriving at the hospital in time for rounds, but I was exhausted this morning so I missed them. The first question I asked when I arrived was if the swelling in her leg had gone down. My nurse said no, and that an ultrasound had been ordered because they thought she may have a blood clot. I then asked to look at her leg and saw that it was not only swollen, but much harder and a darker color than the night before. Fear instantly consumed me and I had to start quoting II Timothy 1:7- "For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I then asked to talk to the Intensivist (the head PICU doctor) for the day. She said I could talk to him as soon as rounds were over.

Right after we had that conversation, the speech therapist walked in and asked if we were ready to try bottle feeding. I went from terror to joy. She then grabbed a bottle and filled it with 8 ml of the milk I have been pumping. She held Sadie in her lap, but away from her body, explaining that she did this so that Sadie would not be so comfortable she would fall asleep. Then she began to give Sadie the bottle. Sadie drank 5 ml of the milk (approximately one teaspoon) before she was exhausted and in a milk coma! The therapist was very proud and said she did a great job! Then she explained that we will do a barium study tomorrow and if all goes well work on getting her used to bottle feeding and on all of her nutrition through the milk!

After the speech therapist left, I spoke with Dr. Sullivan, the Intensivist for the week. He explained that they did believe she had a clot and that we would give her Lovenox to combat it, if they did find a clot. Then, began the long wait for the ultrasound tech. Every time a cart rolled by our room, I anxiously awaited them to turn but they just keep passing.. so I kept pestering. It is my job as a mother after all! Time went quickly as I held Sadie, then slowed down after I laid her down. It went quickly when Fred stopped by to talk, and then slowed down after he left. Zach arrived around 2:00 with lunch and his presence helped to speed things up too. Finally, around 4:00, the ultrasound tech arrived. She began the ultrasound moments before the doctors gathered in front of our room for midafternoon rounds. As soon as they arrived at our door, Dr. Sullivan walked in and asked the tech if she had any results. She said no, and he immediately asked if they had someone their to read the ultrasound at this time. She said yes, and he said great because I need these results as soon as possible. All day long, I had been hearing that he was brilliant, and he was the best. I immediately knew why.

In rounds, they talked about her progress and then we spoke on our nephrology concerns. He said he had reviewed the ultrasounds and that we would know to do a VCUG test before we left to check her kidneys. Then the waiting game began again, as we started waiting for results. It seemed like a long time before Dr. Sullivan came back in with the news, she did have a blood clot. He set my heart at ease though as he spoke about the clot. To me, clots have always been terrifying as you hear of them traveling to the heart, brain, or lungs and causing death. He explained that this was common with this procedure and that in infants the clots do not usually move. His calm and knowledgable manner once again proved that he was the perfect doctor to be working this week.

We looked at her leg again before we left for the evening and saw that it was still swollen but that the color had returned to normal and that it was much softer again. I asked Dr. Sullivan why it may have improved and he said that the blood may have found a way to get around.. well I would not be shocked if when they come back to check the leg again (to see if the clot is partially blocking the vein or fully blocking the vein) if the clot is gone. Sometimes, clots dissipate on their own- and I know my God is big enough to do that instantaneously- if He chooses to do so!

Verses of the Day:
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10

The Lord is constantly reminding His people of His goodness and mercy throughout His word. He tells us to "fear not" multiple times and this is just another reminder. As I was stressing out today, I once again realized I was relying on worldly means and not my heavenly father and I immediately began praying. It is such a blessing to have His word hidden in my heart. For in hard times, I can meditate on the words and take them to heart. So for tonight, I will not fear because I know my God is with me. He goes in front of me, behind me and is constantly with me- nothing shocks Him. I will not be dismayed because the Lord is my God! According to Webster, the definition of dismay is to cause to lose courage or resolution. I will have courage because I know the creator of everything is with me and cares for me. Furthermore, I know He loves my daughter more than I ever could, so I know He is watching over her. I feel that He is strengthening me as I receive peace. I can not explain the sense of calm that I have received during these times. It is so wonderful to know that Sadie is in the best hands physically (with the amazing doctors and nurses taking care of her) and spiritually, as the Lord is watching over her.

Praises for the Day:
1. By the end of the day, Sadie's leg was no longer hard and purple.
2. She drank 5 ml from a bottle!
3. The doctors found the clot and have a plan for it.

Prayer Requests for the Day:
1. For good results from the Barium test tomorrow.
2. A smooth transition to our new room in the Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit.
3. For her blood clot to dissipate.

Below are pictures of Kinsley from dinner tonight. She was having so much fun playing with water that had spilt on the table. She would stick her hands in it and smear it around and then put her hands on her head. After a few times doing that we gave her a napkin to wipe it up. She would wipe the table, then take the napkin and put it behind her head like a cape and then let it fly over her head. She is just way too funny! I know we were all laughing even harder than she was. It is so great to have her bring us joy each and every day through all of the fun and silly things she is doing in life right now.

March 30th: 20 days old

 Starting today, my posts should get much shorter. This is great news for me (as I am very tired when I write these, and probably stop making sense by the end) and even better news for Sadie. The reason they will get shorter is that she is doing so well that I should not have a ton to write about anymore. **Amendment, I just finished todays and it is long, maybe they will be shorter starting tomorrow.

I will tell you that my day started with church and it was wonderful. Pastor Spike's message was focusing on ways to persevere and continue until the end. And, they sang songs that I think were hand picked for me. First, they sang "Fountains." This song brings me such joy as it reminds me of the students at UC dancing and their love for the Lord. We actually missed this song at the beginning of the service, because we were late... but I heard it at the beginning of the second service and went and sang it then. The second song was one I have never heard before, "Sovereign Over Us." We walked in during the bridge and I knew God was using this for our situation. The lyrics are "Even what the enemy means for evil, you turn out for good. Even in the valley you are faithful, you're working for our good. You're working for our good and for your glory." My prayer is that in everything we face, He receives glory and I have seen it time and time again. I know their are specific prayers being answered and still more being lifted up- but I know He is working for His good and our good. The third song was "The Great I Am." I was brought to tears listening to this song, just thinking about His goodness through all of this. I love that in everything I face, I know He is The Great I Am. And finally, the fourth song was "Always." Once again, my makeup was running down my face (I really should invest in waterproof mascara and eyeliner with my known tendency to cry.. for those of you asking to help.. maybe this is your area.. just kidding.) I do know that He is always with me, I know that "He will not delay" that He is "my refuge and strength ALWAYS!" I must admit that as I was singing "I will not fear the storm" I was convicted as I do still have fear, but I know that is still a work in progress!

As for Sadie's condition, she is doing great! Our cardiologist said that we just have to focus on her getting to eat now! What a wonderful thing. I have had many people warn me that this is a very long and tedious process, but I am so thankful to be here. Tomorrow, speech therapy will hopefully come by to determine when we may be ready to try feeding from a bottle. 

Today was also an exciting day for her grandparents as they got to hold her for the first time! It was a beautiful thing for me to see and I am sure for her to feel. God is so good!

Verse of the Day:

"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

It is never to early to start ingraining scripture into our children's hearts or our own! So many people are often looking for the answer to success, so I figured I would go ahead and share it with her on her 20th day of life. In order to be prosperous and successful, all we need to do is follow His instructions given to us in His word. Now, I have to be careful to explain that being "prosperous and successful" is not portrayed correctly in our world today. If you ask most people they would believe those who are "prosperous and successful" are the rich or the famous.. well I know this is not true as I have seen it firsthand recently. 

I remember a few months ago when Pastor Glenn was preaching for Pastor Spike one Sunday. I can not remember what the message was on, but I think it had something to do with trusting God. What I do remember was a little catchphrase he used in the sermon.. "God's will, God's bill." I remember thinking how cool it was, but I had never really seen it in action. Well, I have seen an abundance of this over the last few months. When we first discovered Sadie's heart condition, we just resolved that we would live in medical debt for the next 60 years trying to pay for everything. We figured, we could pay each of our doctor's a small amount forever. Well, our first look at this "God's will, God's bill" situation occurred in January. I went to my OB and they told me my entire bill was due then or I could not schedule anymore appointments. This was a large sum, so we maxed out our credit cards, but still owed over $700.00. Although this was a large sum, it was not too big for our God. Through my dad speaking with one of his friends and my mom speaking with another friend from church- the bill was completely covered. One of our friend's from church happened to work for my insurance company and informed us that she would put us in touch with someone who would call our OB and try to work out a payment arrangement. Then, one of my dad's friends wrote us a check for $250.00. Well, I ended up receiving a call from my OB letting me know that they had spoken with my insurance and that I had reached another part of my deductible and the remaining balance of my bill was adjusted to $250.18. How amazing that God had laid that amount on his heart and that it was only an eighteen cent difference! Our next look at this came through gifts from people at my school. The Saturday before Sadie was born, Jeleen, Summer and Kelli came by to spend time with me and pray with me before she would arrive. Well when they came, they also brought me gift cards and money from the cheerleaders, faculty and staff at University Christian. It was a huge blessing and I was humbled at the gift. I know that pride is one of my weak areas, and it is often so hard to except things from others and this was no exception. I was left in shock and utter amazement at the huge blessing I was given. Shortly after that, we were blessed again when one of Zach's cousins and uncles decided to start an online fundraising effort for Sadie. We were in shock again as we saw money pouring in from family, friends and some people we did not even know! And that money is continuing to pour in. Today I learned of two other blessings- one from UC and one from someone I do not even know. One of Zach's aunts has a friend who owns a cupcake shop in Decatur, Indiana. Well that friend is selling Easter cupcakes as a fundraiser for Sadie and is giving the proceeds to Sadie! What a wonderful blessing again. Once again, I am in awe of the generosity and love shown by so many people. 

We are prospering at this time when it would seem impossible. Not because we are "rich" by any means. But because of the blessings of others. We still have yet to see many medical bills and we still know we will have them for years to come, but we know that God will take care of us and that we will prosper because He is with us. We do not need to fear! 

Furthermore, we are prospering in life! We have two beautiful little girls that bring our hearts so much joy. We have amazing families who love us and love the Lord and have helped us through this situation. We have friends who are more like family, who have also walked this road with us and will continue to walk this road with us! And we have countless people praying for us and our sweet little girl! It is so amazing to feel and see God's love through other people! So we will not be afraid because we know He is with us wherever we go!

Praises for the Day:

1. Being able to spend time with our church family this morning!

2. Sadie was finally able to be held by her grandparents.

3. Sadie is still doing well with her milk.. she is up to 7 ml per hour (which is just under an ounce every four hours)

Prayer Requests for the Day:

1. Pray for her leg to stop swelling. The doctor's believe they know why it is swelling (due to the line in her leg) and have removed the line so it should go down by morning!

2. Pray for wisdom and a good report from "speech" tomorrow so that we can hopefully work on feeding by mouth soon!

3. Pray for continued protection from infection.

March 29th: 19 days old

Today was another good day for Miss Sadie Grace. The doctor's are still very pleased with her progress and are currently upping her feeds by 1 ml every 12 hours. We were slightly worried (well really worried at first) as we have noticed swelling in her right leg- it looks like a little marshmallow. However, we found out that the swelling is normal after they receive a catheter in their legs. Also, because of Turner's she is more likely to swell. They test three things to make sure their is not a big problem with this. First, they make sure she still has a pulse in her foot. Second, they make sure her leg is still pink. And last, they make sure it is still warm. She has passed all of those tests with flying colors, so we are very thankful for that.

We did have one scary moment for me as she started to pull out one of her lines in her leg. We looked down and noticed blood, so the nurse began searching. After we found the source, she calmly started to get a kit to clean it and close it back up. Well, I can handle a lot of things- but seeing my child bleeding and then being cleaned with alcohol is not one of them. I was doing okay watching at first, but had to sit down a few minutes into it as I started to feel nauseous. Luckily, I had a great friend there to help me through it!

We also had the privilege of making her room feel a little more like home. She has been moved to a crib, which seems huge for our little girl. But, we put a mobile on it and now she has a whole collection of friends watching over her. We also got to put her in clothes for the first time! The outfits are definitely big, but they said they like them that way because of the wires.

Kinsley also got to come up to the hospital again today, but she has not had the chance to meet Sadie yet, but we think it may be soon! After spending the morning at the hospital, we went to Seasons 52 for dinner- it was delicious. But, my favorite part was after dinner when Zach and I got to play with Kinsley outside for a few minutes. We played chase and she just laughed and laughed. It was so fun. She also made a friend with some little boy who started crying when he had to leave, we are in big trouble because this is not the first boy that has quickly become attached to her. Luckily, she does not have much interest in the boys yet- which makes her Daddy very happy!

Verse of the Day:
"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17

This verse came to me from Mrs. Spann. She sent me a message talking about how she and the students have been praying fervently for Sadie. She said it was a beautiful sight to see her freshman down on their knees, lifting Sadie up to the Lord! It was just another reminder of how lucky I am to work at University Christian. UC is so much more than just a place to work, it is a family and home. We have been so blessed by the love, prayers, outreach and support from the faculty, staff, students and parents. And, it is not shocking in any way- because I know it all stems from the love of Christ within them!

Now, onto the verse how wonderful to know that the Lord is not only with us but that He is a mighty warrior. He is fighting for us! He takes great delight in us. He loves us and rejoices over us with singing! I know that He has been fighting for our daughter as she has overcome so many odds already. He has protected her through these times and will continue. Not only has He fought for her, but He has shown His face in so many ways. Through miracles big and small- He is showing His love and rejoicing in the ways that He can do it. I know that He loves to bring us joy- He is taking delight in each miracle, just as we are.

Praises for the Day:
1. Madison was released from the hospital. She is such a little fighter. The doctor's expected her to be in the hospital at least a week and it has only been 4 days.
2. Sadie was able to get dressed today!
3. They are still increasing Sadie's feeds.

Prayer Requests for the Day:
1. Pray for continued safety from infection.
2. Pray for the arterial bands to protect her from too much blood flow.
3. Pray for her to do well as we prepare for the next step of learning how to feed!

March 28th- 18 days old

Today was my official due date for our sweet Sadie and she is already 18 days old. However, it feels like we have had her forever. These past two and a half weeks are an enigma to me. Part of me feels like they have flown by, while the other part feels like they have dragged on. Regardless of how the time has been, I do know one thing - they have been wonderful! I love every minute I get to spend with my sweet girl.

We had big improvements again today, as she had her catheter and chest tube removed! She was also upped to 2 ml of breast milk per hour. Which will be about an ounce and a half over the course of 24 hours. I am thankful I am not on that eating plan! When one of our cardiologists walked in today, I proudly let him know that she had been upped to 2 mls per hour and he laughed and said he was pretty sure she swallowed more spit than that. He is a fan of feeding them faster, but they all compromise based on what they believe as a group is best for Sadie.  As a whole, they said she is looking great. She is still slightly tachypneic (her breathing is fast) and a few of her levels are not quite where we want them, but they say she is doing amazing considering she just had open heart surgery.

Tomorrow, will be a big day as they move her to a crib and we get to put her in clothes! We went shopping for her for the first time, it was great! I can not wait to post pictures of her in her outfits. They have to be a special kind that they can easily remove, but Krissie prepared us for that so we know exactly what to get.

Verse of the Day:
"Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you." Jeremiah 32:17

 I have found throughout my whole life that when I face a big problem, I usually try to solve it on my own. I think "I can handle this" and begin doing every "earthly" thing I know how to do to solve the problem. Then, when I have exhausted all "earthly" means, I get wise and remember to ask God. Why is it that I do things so backwards? Why would I not start with the creator of the universe? He made me, He made everything and He knows everything. Obviously, He knows the solution. For example, sometime last year I lost my retainer (yes, I still wear a retainer every night- if not, my teeth would be crooked) and searched everywhere high and low. I distinctively remember that it was late and I was exhausted. So, after spending over an hour searching, I decided to skip my devotion and just go to bed. I knew it was wrong, but I was so tired. Well, as soon as I laid down, I felt this nagging on my heart that I should do my devotion. Obviously, the Holy Spirit was convicting me. So, after laying there for five minutes I gave in and decided to do my devotion. Well I got up went to my drawer and pulled out my bible and you will never believe what I found laying on top- my retainer. It was such a funny little reminder that I needed to turn to Him!

Now, we are facing different circumstances and we have been able to see God do miracles through supernatural means and through medicine. I am so thankful for everything He is doing! We are thankful for the way her body has responded to the treatments in ways that shock even the doctors. And, we are thankful for all of the skills given to everyone who is working on her. I am so thankful for each and every person who has has worked on Sadie over the past few weeks and for the doctors that have been following me throughout my entire pregnancy. It is so amazing to know that God formed each and everyone of them and gave them the will and desire to do their jobs. He is using them in mighty ways and some of them do not even know it. I am thankful for the paths they have taken to be where they are today. I am also thankful for the paths we have been on that have kept us here. It is wonderful to see how God has orchestrated every part of our paths and continues to do so! I am so thankful that I serve a God who nothing is too hard for!

Praises for the Day:
1. Sadie had her chest tube and catheter removed!
2. She was calm and alert for a lot of the day.
3. She is exceeding their expectations for recovery.

Prayer Requests for the Day:
1. Continued protection for Sadie from infection. As she is post surgery, it is so important that she does not get any type of infections, bacteria or sicknesses as they could cause severe problems.
2. Pray that her stomach will tolerate the milk so that we can continue to increase the amount we give to her.
3. Continued wisdom for everyone involved in making her plans for each day!

March 27th: 17 days old

As you heard yesterday, we made it through surgery! I must tell you from a mother's perspective, that was one of the hardest days of my life. Making the walk to the "leaving place" was so hard and then saying goodbye and watching them wheel your child away was even harder. As I watched her leave, I could not help but be terrified. Then came the waiting game. I learned through that waiting game that I still have a whole lot of growing in Christ to do. Every time I tried to pray, I would break down. So, I decided that I would pray some, and just talk at other times. Not focusing became the easy thing for me to do. Rather than thinking about what we were facing, it was easier to talk or pray for others. So, I must thank every single one of you who could pray during that time. I know your prayers are what helped things to go so wonderfully. It is during those times, that I was reminded of the song "Just Say Jesus." It is amazing how He knows exactly what we need during those times with just the mention of His name.

Every time Zach's phone would ring and we would see "unknown" calling, I would breathe. Those good updates were exactly what I longed to hear. The best moment was when I saw the surgeon's after we were told she was closed. I knew if they were out and smiling, it was a good thing! Seeing them was like the moment Ariel saw Prince Eric for the first time (just a nice Disney reference for you babe). No, I did not fall in love with the doctor's by any means- but I did see another day for my Sweet Sadie!

After talking with all of the doctor's and nurses, we were relieved to hear that she had done wonderfully! When we got the chance to go back and see her, it was a huge mix of emotions. I was so relieved to see her, but it was hard as she was intubated, slightly swollen and obviously on a lot of heavy medication. But, the sight of her chest moving up and down was one that was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. 

So now onto the information you have not previously heard. I did not write the blog yesterday (that is why it was so funny- way to go Zach now everyone is going to be disappointed when I do not make them laugh) because I got to stay overnight with her because we are in the PICU now. Notice, I said "stay overnight." The idea was to have a sleepover, however sleeping did not really happen. I think I may have slept for a total of 2 and a half hours, because there was a lot going on. But, it was all very good stuff. It started when Dr. English came to check and decided he was ready to get her extubated that night! I was initially told she would be intubated for a week or two post surgery, so less than 24 hours was so exciting. Well, they slowly weaned her off of the breathing machine and less than 8 hours after finishing surgery- she was off! It was so great to hear her sweet little cry. However, that sweet little cry kept me up during the night. I am definitely not complaining about this though- it was a great restless night! She also had a few x-rays during the night and people checking on her constantly- which we are very grateful for.

This morning (well around 8:00), we started with rounds. I love rounds in the PICU because all of the doctors, nurses, PA's and everyone are involved. They always start with the cardiac patients, but unfortunately, they start on the other side of the hall so we were the last cardiac patient to be looked at. It was fun watching them all move slowly in their circles, wheeling their laptops along with them. We counted and there were 13 people standing in a circle discussing her case. It was also great to hear them all actively discussing how she was doing and what to do to proceed. There was a lot I did not understand, but also a lot I did understand. I decided that I can learn a little more each day. So, I am sure you want to know what they said. If I tried to write down everything, first of all it would be gibberish to most of you and second, it would take me forever. So, here is the important stuff. They decided to start working on weaning her off of her pain medication and sedative (they explained how babies and the elderly are a lot tougher than everyone else.) They decided to consult nephrology again sometime soon regarding her kidneys and to see why her urine is somewhat cloudy. They decided to start a new antibiotic to try to combat the cloudy urine. Finally, they decided to start feeding her through a tube! This took some negotiating as one of the doctor's wanted to wait- but in the end, they decided it was best.

I was the most ecstatic about the fact that she would get to eat. It was only later, when her nurse was talking about starting her TPN (the nutrition she has been receiving up until this point) that I realized just how little the amount of food they would be giving her was. They are giving her 1 ml per hour.. that is less than 1 ounce in a day. So, we obviously are starting VERY slow. But, it is a start! 

As I talked to people throughout the day, I was constantly reminded of how good God is. Everyone is shocked at how well she is doing. I know that each day is just one step forward- but we are so thankful for every single one.

Tonight, we had the privilege of going to dinner with Emerie's parents and brothers. Emerie is a little girl who had the same exact surgery Sadie did in November. When we first found out about Emerie, we knew that God had orchestrated our paths and were so thankful for that. Shortly after Sadie was born, a great friend contacted Emerie's mother for me and she reached out to me on Facebook. I am so thankful for her and already know that this is going to be a lifelong friendship for us and our girls. During dinner, we had the privilege of learning more about their process and seeing just how well Emerie was doing. We must continue to pray for her to as she will have her second surgery soon! I am so thankful for these new friends that we have.

Tomorrow, they will hopefully remove her chest tube and I will be able to hold her. This is such a miracle! When I talked to Krissie, Emerie's mom, she said she did not get to hold her for three weeks after surgery. In addition, if they take out the chest tube she may get to wear clothes. They have to be all snaps, but Krissie actually brought a few of Emerie's outfits for Sadie =)

Verses of the Day:

"Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name; give to Him glorious praise. Say to God how awesome are your deeds." -Psalm 166: 1-3a

God is awesome! I have seen this time and time again. When I was younger, the first "awesome deed" I can remember Him doing was giving me straight hair. I had very curly hair when I was younger, and wanted straight hair. Well, I prayed and prayed and prayed.. and one day I woke up with stick straight hair. It only lasted a few years, but I still got my straight hair. More recently, I have seen His awesome works time and time again in the lives of students, friends and of course Sadie. I am so thankful for His awesome deeds over the past two weeks and will continue to thank Him for His awesome deeds that He is continuing to do! 

Praises for the Day:

1. Successful surgery for Sadie!!!

2. Successful surgery for Madison!!

3. She has already been extubated and she is starting to be fed!!!!

Prayer Requests for the Day:

1. Pray that the food cooperates with her belly so that she can continue to get more food and grow!

2. Pray that we figure out what is going on with her urine.

3. Pray that she can rest peacefully.

4. Pray for protection from any infections!

March 26th: 16 Days Old

Hey everyone this is Zach filling in for the ever so talented blogger Candace. She is at the hospital tonight with Sadie so I get the privilege of updating you.

It was an emotionally taxing day that started at 5am this morning with my annoying alarm clock. Even though the surgery wasn't scheduled until 8:30 we still had to get Kinsley to daycare and get to the hospital early to spend some time with Sadie. We got to hold her for a good hour before all of the doctors started showing up. When I say doctors I mean like twelve of them. Not really but close haha. Sadie was in good hands.

The hardest part if the day was walking with her to the Cath lab where they did the procedures. I pray that none of you have to experience that walk and the subsequent helplessness you feel when they push your child through those doors. It was a very emotional moment for both of us.

After that we went up to the room outside of the PICU and starting the waiting game. The nurses did a great job updating us just about every hour or whenever they were done with one procedure and starting on the next. The best update that we received all day was when they called to tell us that they were finished and were starting the closing process. It was like that moment in Apollo 13 when mission control was waiting for them to break radio silence after re-entry (thats right Candace...if I am writing, you get Apollo 13 analogies).

Around 3:30 we Chaplain Fred came and got us. It was time to go see Sadie. When we got to the room Sadie looked like she was resting comfortably and that made both of us very happy. You never want to see your child in this condition but God immediately gave us a peace and we knew this was for good. This is going to help fix her.

Tonight they are already starting to ween her off of the ventilator and let her start breathing on her own. For some reason she gets agitated when she realizes there is a tube down her throat. Over the next few days there will be a lot of observing. The bands that were put on her pulmonary arteries are roughy 3mm. That is very tiny. There is a fine line between too tight and too loose and we need it just right. A little on the loose side is ok because she can grow into them but there is no real good solution to them being tight. As you thank God for all He has done please continue to Pray for Sadie. We had a great day but it was a great start to a long race. Pray that the bands that were placed have the perfect tension on her arteries.

We are overwhelmed and extremely blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. We could never have imagined that Sadie would have such an impact on so many at only 16 days old. God is good and His plan is perfect!

Zach

March 25th: 15 days old

Today was an exciting and scary day all at once. I got to hold Sadie again today and this time with her just being wrapped in a blanket. That was a wonderful experience that I will never forget. I also got to meet with the nephrologists and they told me that from their stand point, she did need to be evaluated but not until after surgery. Then, I met with the cardiologist's again. Dr. English said he is happy with her numbers and that they are ready for surgery. So, unless something crazy happens tonight they will start to fix her heart tomorrow. After he re-explained the surgery to me, this time in much more detail, we went over the consent form. Signing that piece of paper was definitely one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life. However, I know it is what is best for her! Later, the anesthesiologists came by and explained their part of the surgery and I once again signed more paperwork. Tomorrow I will sign the surgeon's paperwork and they will whisk her away. The surgery should last approximately four hours and we will receive updates throughout. I know those will probably be four of the longest hours of my life, but I know we will be blanketed in prayer and I can not ask for more!

Verse of the Day:
"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

I can still remember Mrs. Baxter quoting this verse to our cheerleading squad we anxiously awaited our turn on the mat. Those moments before they called our team's name were always nerve wrecking. My heart would pound, my hands would sweat and I would always need to go pee! But, Mrs. Baxter would pray with us, quote II Timothy 1:7 with us and reassure us that we were ready. Well today, she quoted it to us again and it took on a whole new meaning. It was in a text message that started with another mother whose daughter is also having surgery tomorrow. She too cheered for Mrs. Baxter (and now coaches with me) so Mrs. Baxter reminded us of the verse in the message. It is amazing to me how that verse has stuck with us and how God used it in that situation and will be with us tomorrow. I can remember as a high schooler quoting it over and over again in times of fear, and I will be quoting over and over again tomorrow. It is crazy how excited and nervous I am regarding this surgery. I am excited because I know this is the first step we need to take to fix her heart. But, I am nervous because it is a very big and scary step. However, in spite of my fears, I must lean on Him during these times. As I read this verse to Sadie tonight, I told her not to fear, but was obviously talking more to myself! Oh how I need to trust His word and believe that.

Praises for the Day:
1. Sadie's white blood cell count dropped by 1.
2. Nephrology finally gave us our consult and said they were good with the surgery.
3. We are ready to go for surgery.

Prayer Requests for the Day:
1. Pray for wisdom for the doctors, surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses and anyone else involved in Sadie's surgery tomorrow.
2. Pray for Madison Del Valle as she has major back surgery to help correct her extreme scoliosis tomorrow. Pray for her doctors, surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses and all others involved. Pray for her family and friends.
3. Pray for peace for me, Zach and all of our friends and family.